Today I woke up around 3:45AM with an itch in my eyes that was unbearable.  At first I thought it was pink eye but at that time in the morning I couldn’t do anything so I went online for a short while and then back to bed.  I woke up again about 7:30Am and called my supervisor to tell her what was going on, because the itch was still persistent, and then head to an ophthalmologist near my home.  There I wait around three hours and while I was waiting I saw the most disturbing image of my life!, and old lady stood in front of me watching the TV that was hanging in the wall, while watching the TV that old fart started accommodating her underwear, by the looks of her movement it would seem that her panties were stuck inside her vagina and inside her ass, it was gross!, the worst thing is that after she accommodated her underwear she farted!, right in front of me!  I almost puke, but right after she dropped the bomb the doctor called me, great timing!

I go inside the Dr. office, he starts checking me and then put some drops on my eye that burned like hell.  I ask him if I have conjunctivitis and he say “yes, but the allergic one”, and that was it.

While I was driving home I start thinking on what to tell my supervisor in order to stay off during the day, and tomorrow, I had everything in order and knew exactly what to say, at the moment she asks, what did the doctor said, I were going to respond “Well, he said that I have conjunctivitis and I should take some days off”.  But when I called this was what happened.

HR: So, you went to the doctor?, what did he said?
Me: Well, he told me I have conjunctivitis and gave me a prescription, I am about to go and order it…
HR: Umm…, ok…, but what kind of conjunctivitis you have?, Allergic or viral?
Me: Ummmmm…., kind?, there’s more than one?!, umm…Allergic…
Me thinking: WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE YOU FUCKING MORON!?!, ALLERGIC MEANS IT IS NOT CONTAGIOUS!!!
HR: Ah!, its ok, you can come, don’t worry about it.
Me: Cool!, see you later!
Me thinking: MORON!!, YOU ARE A MORON!!!

After I hang up I hit my head with the dash of the car, what the fuck was I thinking?, well, It was OBVIOUS that I was not thinking at all!.  I go buy the prescription and then head back to the car and call her again.

HR: Hello!, what happened?
Me: I asked the pharmaceutic what kind of medicines the prescription had, and he told me a antibiotic and anti itch drops, so I don’t know, should I go to the office?
HR: Ummm, well…, I thing it’s better for you to stay home, I don’t want a pandemic here at the office.
Me: I had some things to do, but I can connect to the servers from home and work from there (yeah sure, like I am going to do that! HA!), so, if threes anything you need just call me…
HR: Ok, don’t worry about it, just take some rest, see you Monday.
Me: Bye!
Me thinking: Bitch….

Uff!, that kind of shit always happens to me, I have a perfect plan that I know it can work to fool people, but I always mess it up, but I also know how to fix it!.  Now I have two days off, and its raining so I plan to sleep all day long to be refreshed for tomorrow’s job offer, I hope its worth it because I am running out of excuses, and patience.

Posted in English Writings, Meaningless Shit, Work |