For a few weeks I have been meditating on how to tell my brother that I am going to bring someone to live with me. Why I have to tell him that? Because it’s his house, but let me clarify, it’s two houses in one, my brother lives in the top floor and I live in the first, or ground floor and both houses are segregated, he can’t access my part of the house and I can’t access his, unless we use each other front door of course.

Of all the things I considered tell him I choose the most indirect-direct one and yesterday I did it. Since I did not have the time to speak to him in the morning I told him “I need to speak to you later today”. I did that on purpose to create expectation because I know he kept saying all day “what the hell he wants” and I know that his mind keep running all day figuring out what I wanted to talk about. So when I arrived I went to his house to pay the rent, played a little bit with my niece and when I was leaving he followed me outside and asked me what I wanted to tell him.

At that moment I got a little nervous but I had to pull myself together because now there was no turning back so I opted to go the long route.

I told him:

“Do you remember that by last Christmas I said that I was going to move out? That was because I wanted to move in with “someone”. I opted to stay and see if your mother in law got in her senses once the baby was born to see if you could bring her here because I knew that if I left that would make a hole in your budget, and since now you have a baby that would be just mean on my part, but since that never happened and she(the mother in law) is still a mean bitch to you I desisted of the idea of leaving, but, instead I want to bring that “person” here and I wanted to ask you if that is ok with you”.

He stood there quiet for a few seconds and then said:

“There is not a problem with that. ”

And shortly after that said:

“Is that “person” your pal, the guy of the black SUV?”

Response: “Yes”

And then there was silence. I knew what he was thinking but he didn’t had the guts to ask, and I know that he knows that we are much more than “Pals” but I just don’t have the strength to tell him, even tough now is obvious. To break the awkward moment I told him that once he moves in we would pay a little more rent to cover the cost of utilities and that I will fix and paint the house. Then he replied that he would start working this weekend to move a pipe that is leaking water to one of the rooms, to what I told him that he won’t move right away, that he is probably going to move around March or April but that I was telling him now because I needed to know his opinion before making any plans.

And that was pretty much it.

Now the plans:

First I need to polish the floor and paint the interior of the house, then buy furniture, I have a couch in the living room but it’s pretty small, so I want a chic new one, maybe I need to speak with this girl about that, she surely knows about chic and cool things…, ANYWAY, after the interior is completed my BF can begin to move his Harry Potter crap and we can start to live a happy life together. And then I will pay someone to paint the exterior of the house because there is no way in hell that I am going to paint that, the fucking house is HUGE. Maybe I can share the cost of that with my brother.

For now I will start making a budget for this because I am really anxious and when I get anxious I do pretty stupid things because I get blinded by the emotion.

Posted in Drama, English Writings, Family, Kaiser |