My father bought a laptop the other day, its kind of old but it works for him. I convinced him to get DSL (could be an error because I might end up paying for it) so he could fix his, ummm, "Free to Air" Satellite receiver whenever it "loose" the signal, anyway, the other day he called me because he needed me to explain, by phone, "something" about the computer.

• Dad: Hey!, how are you my magnanimous super intelligent son!, the one I prefer the most over everyone on this house!

• Me: … … ehh… Hi.

• Dad: So!, do you have time? I need you to drive me trough something here.

• Me: sure, what is it?

• Dad: How do program the satellite box?

• Me: Ah, ok, do you remember the icon I placed on the desktop on the upper-right side of the screen?

• Dad: … … … eeeeeeh…, yes, I think I see it, is it the little thing with the hands on it?

• Me: Thats the one. click on it and tell me what you see.

• Dad: I see a table with some things on it.

• Me: ¿? A table???

• Dad: Yes, it has several pills on the bottom..

• Me: Pills? what the hell?

• Dad: One of the pills say "Open File"

• Me: Eh…, those are buttons…., and that "table" is a Window. anyway, click on the Open File button.

• Dad: Ah!, the table disappeared!

• Me: WINDOW! Tell me what you see…

• Dad: Another table with some pictures and letters…

• Me: … … … Read me the "letters"…

• Dad: Recycle Bin, My Documents, …

• Me: stop…

• Dad: My network places, my computer, Internet explo…

• Me: STOP!!!, just tell me what is on FRONT of the WINDOW that you clicked the button! *getting frustrated*

• Dad: Ah! hehehehe!!!, theres something that says "look in

• Me: ok, good, now click on the white space on the side of "look in"

• Dad: There are some other things there, they look like yellow thingies, shall I click them?

• Me: Just go to "look in" and select a folder…

• Dad: Oh!, yes!, they look like tiny folders!, I am going to click them.

• Me: Just go to "LOOK IN", DONT CLICK ON ANYTHING ELSE!!!!

• Dad: Ok but calm down! take it easy!

• Me: EASY?!, EASY?! DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU CHASED ME AROUND THE HOUSE TO HIT ME WITH YOUR LEATHER BELT?!, DO YOU?!?!, DO YOU?!?, WHY DIDINT YOU TOOK IT EASY THEN?! HUH!!!, NOW ITS MY TURN! MINE! TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HOWS THAT HUH! AHAHAHAHA!!!

• Dad: Oh!, this worked!, I should click on the "send to DVB" pill right?

• Me: yes…

• Dad: Nice the DVB is working again! thanks!, bless you!!

• Me: Bye!!

Posted in English Writings, Meaningless Shit | 3 Comments »